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Copy editing of non-normative text by markafoltz · Pull Request #429 · w3c/presentation-api · GitHub
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Copy editing of non-normative text#429

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markafoltz merged 6 commits into
gh-pagesfrom
issue-345-editing
May 5, 2017
Merged

Copy editing of non-normative text#429
markafoltz merged 6 commits into
gh-pagesfrom
issue-345-editing

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markafoltz commented May 4, 2017
edited by pr-preview Bot
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Addresses Issue #345: Introduction could use come copy editing.

This updates the prose in the introduction to use more precise language and improve style.
It makes minor editing improvements to non-normative notes and the security and privacy section.
It also adds acknowledgements of registered trademarks used in the specification.

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</p>
<p>
<em>AirPlay</em>, <em>HDMI</em>, <em>Chromecast</em>, <em>DLNA</em> and
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@tidoust, is the recommendation to explicitly call these out in the spec, or does the "Non-W3C Trademarks; Member Trademarks" section in https://www.w3.org/Consortium/Legal/2002/trademarks-20021231 cover specs as well? I assume the term "Site" in this generic boilerplate refers to any resource hosted on the w3.org domain, including specs in the TR space.

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I checked internally. Specs we publish usually do not contain non-W3C trademarks for various reasons. In our case, mentioning these technologies as examples in the introduction is important to clarify the context for readers, and the introduction is clear that other technologies are available.

It is a good idea to call these trademarks out explicitly in the acknowledgement section. The proposed text is fine. I recommend adding "They are only cited as background information" to the end of it to make it crystal clear that one does not need them to implement the specification.

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Done.

Comment thread index.html Outdated
uses the operating system to send the resulting graphical and audio
output to the presentation display. We refer to this situation as the
<dfn data-lt="1-UA">1-UA mode</dfn> implementation of the Presentation
API. The only requirement is that the user agent be able to send
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s/be able to/is able to/

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anssiko commented May 4, 2017

Thanks @mfoltzgoogle, great work. Before landing, I'd like @tidoust to clarify how we should handle the non-W3C trademarks.

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I made another pass to polish the introduction and the Cross Origin Access section. I'm pretty happy now :)

To improve legibility, I updated to link the first time a term like presentation appears in a given paragraph, and not link following occurrences.

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tidoust commented May 5, 2017

@mfoltzgoogle, @anssiko, see minor proposed tweak to ack section inline. That looks good to me otherwise.

markafoltz merged commit ba660b0 into gh-pages May 5, 2017
markafoltz deleted the issue-345-editing branch May 5, 2017 17:53
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